I'm Still Alive

I am not giving up this blog, things have been pretty sucky lately and I have been working my butt off, but I will write a post about all of the latest happenings (including what I couldn't do in over a year and Roy did in one day) and with pictures tomorrow when I get home from work.

And tomorrow my Mom returns from her adventurous trip out east to pick up my niece and nephew. Summer can really start now!!! Except I work now. Boo Hoo Hoo!!!

Dancin', Dancin', Dancin'

Our Fourth of July was fun. We went to a party at one of our friends house. They always make the best food (and have a fully stocked bar) so parties at their house are always fun. We talked about going to one of the parks that has fireworks but it rained really hard in the evening so everything would be wet, plus the kids were having a blast so we decided against the park. But we could see some fireworks from the back yard so it was okay. Carter ate his weight in watermelon and Morgan played with the other girls that were there. We got home at about 11:30 and both of the kids stayed asleep while I changed diapers and put them to bed. Then they both slept until almost 10 yesterday morning. HooRay!!

Yesterday we went over to my parents house and Morgan's friends came over to play with her. They were running around all day and I took the girls to see the horse next door. After dinner and more watermelon (Morgan told me we had to go back to our friends house so she could eat her watermelon, I told her we were going to Grandma & TaTa's and she asked if we could get one to take over there with) the kids were cleaning up the toys and asked Matthew if he would put on some dancing music for them to clean and dance to. He put on some Elvis. Here are the pictures and some videos.

I made her put on shoes that went better with Red, White & Blue.

YUMMMM!!! Watermelon.

If he was charging a quarter every time someone needed in the cooler he would have enough to buy 10 watermelon's.

Morgan loves all of her friends instantly.

Here TaTa, try this.

David loves Carrots

Dance Party

Carter loves to dance with Grandma and Morgan.

Carter dancing (spinning in circles) with Morgan's Wow Wow Wubbzy style glasses.

Morgan and TaTa dancing.

I hope everyone had a nice safe holiday weekend.

What's Up With Me

I started this blog for a few reasons. It is a way to share pictures of the kids with my family that I don't (and do) get to see very often. It is a way to tell my family what I am up to with the kids without having to talk to them (not that I don't want to talk to them and I actually do talk to my Mom almost every day and work with my Dad now, yes I got a job). I needed something to do. It sounded fun. And it is fun. But lately things have been so hectic that even though I could blog everyday, I don't. I didn't blog about Father's day, I didn't tell my Mom happy Birthday, I didn't blog about getting a part time job and I haven't blogged about what is going on with Roy's job. Or his lack of a job. He hasn't actually lost his job, but there is no work for him right now.

That last sentence right there is why I haven't blogged. I am stressed out and scared. Roy is a finish carpenter who works mostly on high end custom homes. And he is damn good at it. You can give the guy a piece of wood and describe what you want him to do with it and he will build you the most beautiful-whatever-you-want you have ever seen. But right now, as everyone is aware, the economy is so bad people aren't having there houses remodeled. And we are screwed. He has worked about 40 hours in the last month and a half. I started working part time for my Dad, but it isn't enough to pay our bills. If Roy was working then the money I make would make it possible for us to go to dinner every once in a while or a movie or whatever. You get the idea, I am not making a lot of money.

But the thing is, this isn't the first time we have gone through this. In 2007, when the economy started to get bad Roy lost his job. And we had to move in with my parents. and then everything was looking up for us and we moved into our town home that we live in right now. And I love my house. It is the perfect amount of room for us, we have a play room, the kids have their own rooms, we have a big (community) yard to play in, a pool and tennis courts. There is a trail close by we go for walks on. Everything is convenient to get to. And now I am scared we are going to have to leave it because we can't afford it.

All of this is causing so much stress for both of us that I am freaking out. I am trying to keep a happy face for the kids (and I don't want Roy to feel worse than he does, since this is not his fault), but it is hard. I have been laughing and playing and doing crafts with the kids but all I really want to do is sit in a corner and cry. I keep asking myself "Is this going to happen to us every two years?" "Can I get a job full time and if I do would it pay enough to make it worth the cost of day care when Roy gets a job?" "How much would it cost for us to run away to Mexico?".
Sadly, the answers are Yes, this probably will happen to us every couple of years. No, me getting a full time job would not make enough money to make it worth missing out on watching my kids grow up once Roy gets another job (which is why I am a sahm) but would help right now so I really don't know the answer to that one. And we can't even afford to go to the Zoo for free let alone run away to Mexico.

So I am going to keep looking for a job for Roy (or me) and smiling and playing with the kids and accept the idea of moving in to an apartment. I will write an update post about all of the happier stuff going on around here soon. Maybe tomorrow.

Winner Winner!!!

Have you noticed that very awesome button on the sidebar? That one right there that says "I won a Fabulous Fun Finds Freebie"? It is there for a reason. I won!!! I won the Hasbro, Swimways Pool Toys Giveaway. What does that include you ask? Let me tell you. In my prize package was a 20th anniversary reproduction Super Soaker 50. Sweet. A Tony Hawk Sub Skate. Awesome. And a Toypedo. Rad. Here are some pictures.

So on Friday Matthew & Krystal brought David over and we went swimming and got to play with the Sub Skate and the Toypedo. These are awesome toys. I know that when my niece and nephew come out next month they are going to have a lot of fun with these. So a big Thank You to Heather at Fabulous Fun Finds for hosting the awesome giveaways (go check out her site, she has a least one new giveaway or discount every day) and a big than you to my friend Karolien (who is getting ready to have a baby girl) for telling me about the site!!

Birth Stories

I have noticed quite a few blogs about birth stories for the upcoming (starts Sunday June 14th)Baby Week on Discovery Health. So since I really have nothing exciting to write about I am going to tell mine.

I would like to say first, that with both of my pregnancies I had Gestational Diabetes. This puts both of my children and myself at a higher risk for diabetes in our future.

Morgan's Story

Morgan's due date was January 24, 2006. I had/have a "clump" of vericose veins that took up residence right under my uterus (only noticable when I had a 7 pound child living inside of me) which caused me so much pain I could hardly move (I also had this pain from Carter but my Dr. during the first pregnancy was a lot nicer about it). My doctor decided to induce me on January 20th because of this pain.

I can positively tell you that on January 19, 2006 it snowed. A lot. We went out to the outback for dinner, and then went home to go to bed. At about 3 am I started to feel some contractions and could not go back to sleep. I woke Roy up, not because I wanted to go to the hospital yet but because I was bored hanging out alone. He was not very entertaining so I didn't complain about him falling asleep on me.

We left early to get to the hospital because of the snow. I wanted to stop and get a sausage Mc Muffin but we, and by we I mean Roy, were worried about being late, not that they could start without me, so we didn't stop. We got there about a half hour early (6:30 am) and they admitted me. I told my nurse that I had a couple of contractions so they had me walk the halls for awhile and then checked to find out I was barely dilated to 2. Hmph. My Mom and Sister (who was visiting from MA and staying until I had Morgan) arrived and walked the halls with us. Finally at 1 pm they started me on pitocin. The contractions came pretty heavily. However they were not productive. They were long and did nothing. Once I dilated to 3 my Dr. offered my epidural. I gladly accepted.

Once my drugs kicked in I was great. I was actually sleeping, not a light nap, I am talking about the patient in the next room could hear me snoring kind of sleeping, while I dialated from 6 to 10. My Mom and sister, both of whom have never experienced the joy of the epidural, were pissed, to say the least. When I woke up the nurse checked me and told me it was almost time to start pushing and she would get my Dr. While I was waiting for my Dr my aunt Marly and my cousin's wife (Sam, who at the time was his 17 year old girlfriend) walked in. They had just seen Hostel at the movie theatre not too far away and wanted to see how I was doing. They asked if they could stay and I said "Sure, I don't see why not".

My Dr. came in and I pushed for 15 minutes and at 11:31 pm Morgan was born. A beautiful 7 lb 2 oz 21 1/2" long little girl.


Carter's Story

Carter was due on March 7, 2008. On March 9 at 2:30 in the morning I woke up having contractions. They were pretty far apart so I didn't wake Roy up (I learned he is not the best entertainment in this situation). When he woke up later in the morning I told him he was probably going to have to call in to work on Monday. I went about my day doing my normal Sunday stuff. Matthew called and my Mom told him I was in labor, which of course prompted him to ask what hospital I was at and freak out when he heard I hadn't left yet. Him and Krystal stopped by to see us at about 5:00 pm. My Mom and I left, not to go to the hospital, that would just be silly, to go to Wal Mart because I decided I must hav pj pants to wear after I gave birth and I had to get some stuff for Morgan to eat while I was gone. We went to the store and I had to stop a couple of times for a contraction. We got home and Roy told me I had better decide if I needed to go and I told him we could go after I ate a sandwich. We left at about 9 pm. When I got to the hospital I said "I think I am in labor, it is probably too early to admit me but I thought I should get checked out anyway". They took me up and checked. I was dilated to 5.

My Mom came right after they gave me my epidural and we hung out watching "Talledaga Nights. The Ballad Of Ricky Bobby" (best movie ever made). And then something happened. My epidural quit working. I called my nurse (they insisted I call them before pushing the button to administer more drugs) who told me the pain and pressure I was feeling were normal. This went on for about 4 hours. This woman would not call the anaesthesiologist to come and check my epidural. She would not call a Dr. (mine didn't arrive until 35 seconds before I pushed). She let me lay there hugging the rail to my bed screaming.

Now let me make myself clear on something. I understand some people in this world are against epidurals. I. Am. Not. One. Of. Them. I believe that a brilliant scientist worked in his lab to create the perfect drug for me to use. I always planned on using it. I never wanted natural childbirth. Never. Ever.

Finally at 3:15 am my Dr. arrived and said it was time to push, this was after I insisted he had fallen out of me and thought his head was at my knees. I pushed twice and at 3:31 am Carter was born. A beautiful 6 lb 13 oz 19 3/4" long little boy.

And the pajama pants I had to go get while I was in labor, I never even put them on. I was wearing jeans the morning Carter was born. Yes they were maternith jeans, but still.

Be sure to check out Baby Week on Discovery Health.

Sunday through Friday, June 14-19th, at 8pm each night on Discovery Health. Some of the shows airing are

Twins By Surprise - Sunday, June 14, 8pm
Little Parents, Big Pregnancy - Monday, June 15, 8pm
Births Beyond Belief -Tuesday, June 16, 8pm
Obese & Pregnant - Wednesday, June 17, 8pm

30 (It's My Birthday, My B-B-B-Birthday)

I never feared turning 30. It never seemed old to me. Until today.

I'm not saying it's the end of my world, but it does sound a little older in reality than it did in the big lead up to it. However, I am still excited about my birthday (I am a birthday nutcase). Morgan told me she would get me balloons, we'll see if it happens. Tonight we are going to cook a nice dinner (shrimp alfredo and garlic bread), and on Saturday Chris & Kelley are coming over for grilled pizza and drinks, then on Sunday we are going to a great Mexican food restraunt with my family. I wanted to have a huge party but the planning never happened and my budget isn't really big party material right now.

So here I go. Over 30 years I have done the following...

Made friends that will be a part of my life until one of us dies. My longest friendship is 27 years now and the second longest is 15 years now. I still talk to them regularly.

Snuck out of my parents house in high school (more than once, hee-hee) and gone to explore the caves at Red Rocks

Learned how to play pool

Crowd surfed at a concert

Pierced my nose

Pierced my tongue

Gotten (8) tattoos (and will get a few more. Of this I am sure)

Skipped school (with permission) to stalk David Justice

Skipped school without permission. I used to pay Matthew to wait for the school to call. He usually forgot and left. I always said I was late and my parents never believed me.

Learned about sex way before I should have. One of the older kids told us what they were learning in school when I was in first grade

Gone to too many funerals

Become a certified First Responder

Become a certified dog groomer

Learned to drink for reasons beyond getting drunk

Learned that Mad Dog 20/20 is never good

Learned how to cook

Fell in love and had my heart broken

Felt the loss of a pregnancy

Become best friends with my sister and brother

Realized my parents are cool to hang out with

Birthed two totally awesome children (once in front of 4 of my family members and once with out drugs, although not by choice) and become an awesome mother

Married a wonderful man that I enjoy spending time with and talking too, and I am an awesome wife as well

Quit many jobs

Learned that the noises that drive me crazy every day are the ones I miss when they are not going on

Figured out how to feed a family for 60 dollars a week when necessary

Had a party when my parents were out of town. And got caught.

Lied to my parents about where I was staying for the night

Gone on a mission involving the adult stores (maybe I will write that story one day)

Spied on many boys while playing the Mission Impossible theme song

Learned that I really hate camping

Learned to play tennis

Driven everybody I know crazy reminding them my birthday was coming up.

Happy Birthday To Me!!

Well It's A, Major Award!!!

I won something!! Recently Lindsay at Suburban Turmoil wrote a review for the new Macaroni Grill pre-packaged meals and had a giveaway to win a Macaroni Grill prize package. The prize was a colander, a hand held cheeses grater, a serving spoon and four (yes four) of the new packaged meals that you only have to add one or two ingredients to. Now, I don't really use the pre-made meals (Hamburger Helper type stuff) but I had tried one of these before and it was pretty good, which is why I entered.

And I won!!! I was so excited when I found out I was one of the winners, you would have thought I won money or something, but really four dinners is just as exciting to me. On Friday the doorbell rang and out mail man put a big box on the porch. here is what was in it.

Most of these say to add chicken to them, but on the side they have other ideas. So last night I made the Garlic and Herb one with Johnsonville Sweet Italian Sausage (if you have not tried this sausage run out right now and get it, it is the best). And I must say it was De. Lici. Ous. And, there was enough to feed all of us and have leftovers (which I ate for breakfast today). Another thing is that these really aren't very expensive, I checked at the store last night. They are under four dollars for a box. So with the price of the meat you can eat dinner for under ten dollars. That is pretty good.

You Mean I Can Leave My House To Get Away From My Husband And Kids And Get Paid For It???

In other words I went to work today. Don't confuse this with me getting a job, but Roy hasn't been working this week and I mentioned this to Andrea and she said that she needed some help in the office. Which coincidentally is my old job, so I already knew the job and most of the people.

So this morning I got up and got ready to go to work for the first time in a year and a half. The kids cried when I left, but I knew they would get over it. It was after all only one (tomorrow will be two) day. And they were with their Dad.


I really haven't had any desire to work since Carter was born, (mostly because I don't know what I want to do. I don't want to go to work every day but I want to make some money. I am looking at home party businesses right now, but you need money to invest in those and we are currently broke) but I had fun. It was nice to be someone other than a Mom for 7 hours today.


And then I came home. And the house was a mess (which it wasn't when I left), and the kids started whining and everybody was hungry so I had to get something out of the freezer and defrost it and put it in the oven, both the kids needed diapers and seemed to need to go to bed (at this time only one of them is in bed) and I had to pee. And you know what? I was irritated by all of this.


I am not saying that one day of working means all of this is not my real job, but I guess I just expected that someone who has been watching me clean the house up all week while I take care of the kids could have picked up everything before I got home. I called when I was on my way. That will teach me to have high expectations.


My friend said she could use me anytime so I might consider working a day or two a week to make some extra money (and get out of the house) if I can find someone to come over and watch the kids for me. My Mom volunteered Matthew and Krystal (probably to get them out of her house for awhile) and I might have to talk to them about it.


On a totally different note here are some pictures of poor Carter's eye taken yesterday and today.

He still thinks he is a puppy

He really likes to yell at me

He was really ready for bed when I took this one

Look at that shiner!!

I am going to hang out and watch One Life To Live (shut up) and Two And A Half Men on dvr and then go to bed. I have to work tomorrow!!!

Poor Baby Carter

I knew it would happen. I knew that one day we would have to go to the ER for something more serious than constipation. And tonight it did. Carter was mad because he was hungry and tired and I told him to leave the kitchen (he likes to stand in between me and the cabinet while I am at the counter cutting food for dinner) just like every night when I am getting dinner ready. He left the kitchen and was yelling (I swear he was cussing me out) and when he went around the corner to the living room he stumbled (he may have had his eyes closed) and fell. His head hit the corner of the bricks that go in front of the fireplace. And there was blood. Not an extreme amount, but enough for me to turn off the stove and for us to pile in to the car and drive to the hospital.

Once there we were seen right away. The Doctor told me they could stitch it or glue it. I told him to glue it. Out of curiosity I asked how many stitches it would have taken. 4 or 5 was the answer.

My little boy is a tough one. Here is the proof.

Right after we got home

Being tickled

He looks like a boxer in this one. This also freaked Morgan out a little when I took the Band Aid off. She keeps asking if he is okay. What a nice sister.

Yelling at me.

He is going to be fine in 5-10 days. He will also have a black eye for about the same amount of time. I have to wake him up tonight in a couple of hours to make sure there is no concussion. He is already back to normal.

Poor baby Carter.

Painted Pots And Pictures

Yesterday I took Morgan to the store to pick out some flower seeds and get some pots. I told her she could paint the pots before planting the seeds. First thing this morning she was ready to paint. She got three packs of seeds and three pots. I got three packs of herb seeds and three pots. So while Carter was taking his morning nap we painted and planted. Here is the result.

Morgan's seeds she picked out. Zinnia's, Petunia's and Marigold's.

Morgan's painted pots.

My painted pots.

I also bought this cool thing for 5 dollars. Hopefully Roy will have my garden box built by the time these are ready for the ground (or I will put them at Marly's house).

Other than that I have been hanging out in Awesome Town (Animal Crossing City Folk. Yes I am so un-creative that I named my town Awesome. I am lame, I know). I got it for Mothers day and am addicted. So is Roy, even though he almost didn't get it for me because he said it looked lame. And in a way it is. But we are hooked. Here are some more pictures to look at. I will try to write a real post tomorrow.

Living Room Picnic.

Tea Party with Claude and Penguin, Morgan and I.

Sharing a Tootsie Pop.

Carter watching Roy finish the deck. Waiting to be big enough to help.

My Momma

I am not really the sappy kind of person. I buy the funny cards instead of the sappy tearful ones. I don't really do sentimental. It just isn't me. If I suddenly started doing that my family would probably freak out.


But Mother's Day is kind of different. Not only because I am a Mom, but because mine is so darn special. She is the smartest, open hearted, open minded, giving person I know. She has always been there for us when we needed her. She has talked me through many tough times. She always give good advice (and maybe some day I will learn to take it more often).


She was there for the birth of both of my children (and her three other grandchildren). When I had a miscarriage four and a half years ago (that is another story I probably will never tell on this blog) my Mom was the first person I wanted to see. When Roy lost his job when Morgan was only a year old and I was pregnant with Carter she offered us a place to stay when we were about to be evicted (and recently did the same for Matthew and Krystal).


She is also the only person I could ride in a car with for five days with a five month old baby and not drive me absolutely crazy. Whenever we are together we have a great time. Some of the best laughs I have ever had were in a car (or more recently a hotel room at 3 am while Morgan was puking in an ice bucket, not at Morgan but at our "vacation") with my Mom.


When I let my friend pierce my nose she told me I would hate it. When she was right and I took it out a week later she told me she was starting to like it. The only time she said anything when I colored my hair was when I colored it blue/black, but she was still cool with it. When I pierced my tongue she told me it was gross but eventually quit noticing. When I came home with my first tattoo she thought it was cool. When I came home with the next six she admired them (as a Mother would, not like the creepy people in Sam's Club that walk up and lift the sleeve of my shirt to see my sleeve) even if she didn't really like them all.


So Mom, I hope you know how much I truly appreciate you and everything you do for me. I can truly say I have the coolest Mom in the world.

I love you. Happy Mother's Day!!!

One Small Step (very very small)

Something I don't talk about much is potty training. That is because I have never done it. Morgan is allergic to dairy and we have had a lot of issues with her pooing. We have had trips to the ER, nights with no sleep and we have gone through more A&D ointment than a tattoo shop uses in a year. I really think the "issues" are the main reason potty training hasn't happened yet. There is also a small control thing going on too, but I don't really like to bring up the fact that I am being played by a three year old.

I have brought up her using the potty daily for the last year and a half. I have tried two different types of training seats, the traditional one that is a mini toilet with the "tray" you empty and a mini toilet seat that you place over the big one (this is the one I let her pick out herself trying to make it her deal), She told me it scared her.

I bought her panties (again, that she picked out), which she insisted I put over her diaper. I wouldn't, but she figured out how to do it herself.

I have tried every bribe I could. She wants to take ballet classes, go to preschool, stay the night at her Grandma and TaTa's house. I told her she could do all three of those things when she was potty trained. When we are at the store and she sees a toy she wants I tell her I will buy it for her when she is potty trained. To all of these she replied "Maybe Later" or "I'm scared to go on the potty".

Last night we were going up the stairs for bath time and I had a diaper in my hand. She told me she didn't want a diaper. I knew she meant that she wanted to take a bath and doesn't want one on in the tub, but I took this as a great opportunity to try the potty. I put her panties on her after the bath and we went downstairs with the promise of rainbow sherbet. This was not as pleasant as one might think it would be. The whole time (including in the bath) she was screaming so loud about wanting a diaper that I though the ringing in my head would never stop.

After a couple of bites of sherbet she started crying and screaming that she wanted a diaper. I told her she had to sit on the potty and pee and then she could have her diaper for bedtime. We went in to the bathroom and sat for 5-10 minutes (she screamed for about 3 of those minutes until I got out the hair clips and let her pick out which ones I should put in my hair) and then she finally went pee. I was so excited and gave her big praise, she started yelling at me for her diaper.

It was the first step in what I think will be a long long battle.

Why I Am Going Green (Kind Of)

I never jumped at the whole "Go Green" movement or way of life. I have two small children and recycling is not the easiest or most convenient thing to do in Colorado. In most cities you have to hire trash companies that offer recycling for a cost that I always thought was a bit high. I mean, when you have two small kids and are living on one income that sort of thing is not at the top of the list. But when we moved into our town home we are lucky enough to have city trash service. Along with the trash service they offer free recycling. So I signed up for our dumpster.

But I will admit, I was doing it for a kind of selfish reason. I am too cheap to buy a bigger trash can for my kitchen (come on, have you seen the price of these? I have diapers to buy people!! I'm not green enough to use cloth diapers) and I was sick of having to empty my small one every day. I started looking at our trash and realized that between the bottles and cans and boxes I could recycle my tiny trash can would only need emptied every third day. So we started recycling.

And now I am the proud owner of reusable grocery bags. Again this was kind of a selfish reason. All of the grocery stores around here have big boxes in the entry for recycling plastic bags. But I always out them under my sink and forgot about taking them with me until they were jumping out at me when I opened the cabinet door, and at that point I would have to carry the bags along with Carter while I was holding Morgan's hand. It was not easy. The other day I was looking for something under the sink and this is what I pulled out.

Yes, I took them to the big box in the store.

And these are my (selfish) reasons for going what I would call light green. Happy Earth Day!!

Easter And A Bridal Shower

I haven't written in what seems like forever. I was so busy planning Easter and then Samantha's bridal shower, I just didn't have time. I had plenty to write about, just not the time. So here is a re cap of everything.

Easter was nice. Morgan was sick on Saturday night so I was up with her all night, but I managed (with some help) to get everything done. My plan was to have everyone arrive at 2 and hang out for a while then we would do the outside (plastic) egg hunt, and then we would come inside and eat. But I was so tired and the weather was rainy and cold so that didn't happen. What did happen was that everyone was her by 2:15 and sat around talking and watching tv until 5:30 when the food was finally ready. Had I not been up all night with Morgan I would have been more on top of everything and my timing would have been adjusted for no egg hunt and dinner would have been ready earlier. But it was what it was. Everyone had a lot of fun and the food was delicious. Here are a few pictures.

My Easter Tulips

Coloring eggs. She wasn't feeling good but pretended to have a good time.

Carter tried to make her feel better. But it didn't seem to work.


This was actually the day after Easter. She refused to take her outfit off until Tuesday.

Carter decided to rest in David's car seat.

Morgan making him comfy.

David took his seat back.


Dessert table.


The best appetizer in the world. Jalapenos with cream cheese wrapped in bacon. I put them back in the oven on broil for a few minutes to get the bacon crisp, after I took this picture.

And then on Monday after Easter was over I started assembling the favor bags for the shower. I made 25 bags and each one had a scrubbie soap, two candles, citrus slice soap, rootbeer float bath salt and raspberry lemonade bath salt (which I don't have a picture of). I made all of this.

And my Mom made the food except the cake which was made by my friend Hillori.

And some beautiful ladies showed up for our tea party.