Monday, June 29, 2009
That last sentence right there is why I haven't blogged. I am stressed out and scared. Roy is a finish carpenter who works mostly on high end custom homes. And he is damn good at it. You can give the guy a piece of wood and describe what you want him to do with it and he will build you the most beautiful-whatever-you-want you have ever seen. But right now, as everyone is aware, the economy is so bad people aren't having there houses remodeled. And we are screwed. He has worked about 40 hours in the last month and a half. I started working part time for my Dad, but it isn't enough to pay our bills. If Roy was working then the money I make would make it possible for us to go to dinner every once in a while or a movie or whatever. You get the idea, I am not making a lot of money.
But the thing is, this isn't the first time we have gone through this. In 2007, when the economy started to get bad Roy lost his job. And we had to move in with my parents. and then everything was looking up for us and we moved into our town home that we live in right now. And I love my house. It is the perfect amount of room for us, we have a play room, the kids have their own rooms, we have a big (community) yard to play in, a pool and tennis courts. There is a trail close by we go for walks on. Everything is convenient to get to. And now I am scared we are going to have to leave it because we can't afford it.
All of this is causing so much stress for both of us that I am freaking out. I am trying to keep a happy face for the kids (and I don't want Roy to feel worse than he does, since this is not his fault), but it is hard. I have been laughing and playing and doing crafts with the kids but all I really want to do is sit in a corner and cry. I keep asking myself "Is this going to happen to us every two years?" "Can I get a job full time and if I do would it pay enough to make it worth the cost of day care when Roy gets a job?" "How much would it cost for us to run away to Mexico?".
Sadly, the answers are Yes, this probably will happen to us every couple of years. No, me getting a full time job would not make enough money to make it worth missing out on watching my kids grow up once Roy gets another job (which is why I am a sahm) but would help right now so I really don't know the answer to that one. And we can't even afford to go to the Zoo for free let alone run away to Mexico.
So I am going to keep looking for a job for Roy (or me) and smiling and playing with the kids and accept the idea of moving in to an apartment. I will write an update post about all of the happier stuff going on around here soon. Maybe tomorrow.
Sunday, June 28, 2009
Thursday, June 11, 2009
I would like to say first, that with both of my pregnancies I had Gestational Diabetes. This puts both of my children and myself at a higher risk for diabetes in our future.
Morgan's due date was January 24, 2006. I had/have a "clump" of vericose veins that took up residence right under my uterus (only noticable when I had a 7 pound child living inside of me) which caused me so much pain I could hardly move (I also had this pain from Carter but my Dr. during the first pregnancy was a lot nicer about it). My doctor decided to induce me on January 20th because of this pain.
I can positively tell you that on January 19, 2006 it snowed. A lot. We went out to the outback for dinner, and then went home to go to bed. At about 3 am I started to feel some contractions and could not go back to sleep. I woke Roy up, not because I wanted to go to the hospital yet but because I was bored hanging out alone. He was not very entertaining so I didn't complain about him falling asleep on me.
We left early to get to the hospital because of the snow. I wanted to stop and get a sausage Mc Muffin but we, and by we I mean Roy, were worried about being late, not that they could start without me, so we didn't stop. We got there about a half hour early (6:30 am) and they admitted me. I told my nurse that I had a couple of contractions so they had me walk the halls for awhile and then checked to find out I was barely dilated to 2. Hmph. My Mom and Sister (who was visiting from MA and staying until I had Morgan) arrived and walked the halls with us. Finally at 1 pm they started me on pitocin. The contractions came pretty heavily. However they were not productive. They were long and did nothing. Once I dilated to 3 my Dr. offered my epidural. I gladly accepted.
Once my drugs kicked in I was great. I was actually sleeping, not a light nap, I am talking about the patient in the next room could hear me snoring kind of sleeping, while I dialated from 6 to 10. My Mom and sister, both of whom have never experienced the joy of the epidural, were pissed, to say the least. When I woke up the nurse checked me and told me it was almost time to start pushing and she would get my Dr. While I was waiting for my Dr my aunt Marly and my cousin's wife (Sam, who at the time was his 17 year old girlfriend) walked in. They had just seen Hostel at the movie theatre not too far away and wanted to see how I was doing. They asked if they could stay and I said "Sure, I don't see why not".
My Dr. came in and I pushed for 15 minutes and at 11:31 pm Morgan was born. A beautiful 7 lb 2 oz 21 1/2" long little girl.
Carter was due on March 7, 2008. On March 9 at 2:30 in the morning I woke up having contractions. They were pretty far apart so I didn't wake Roy up (I learned he is not the best entertainment in this situation). When he woke up later in the morning I told him he was probably going to have to call in to work on Monday. I went about my day doing my normal Sunday stuff. Matthew called and my Mom told him I was in labor, which of course prompted him to ask what hospital I was at and freak out when he heard I hadn't left yet. Him and Krystal stopped by to see us at about 5:00 pm. My Mom and I left, not to go to the hospital, that would just be silly, to go to Wal Mart because I decided I must hav pj pants to wear after I gave birth and I had to get some stuff for Morgan to eat while I was gone. We went to the store and I had to stop a couple of times for a contraction. We got home and Roy told me I had better decide if I needed to go and I told him we could go after I ate a sandwich. We left at about 9 pm. When I got to the hospital I said "I think I am in labor, it is probably too early to admit me but I thought I should get checked out anyway". They took me up and checked. I was dilated to 5.
My Mom came right after they gave me my epidural and we hung out watching "Talledaga Nights. The Ballad Of Ricky Bobby" (best movie ever made). And then something happened. My epidural quit working. I called my nurse (they insisted I call them before pushing the button to administer more drugs) who told me the pain and pressure I was feeling were normal. This went on for about 4 hours. This woman would not call the anaesthesiologist to come and check my epidural. She would not call a Dr. (mine didn't arrive until 35 seconds before I pushed). She let me lay there hugging the rail to my bed screaming.
Now let me make myself clear on something. I understand some people in this world are against epidurals. I. Am. Not. One. Of. Them. I believe that a brilliant scientist worked in his lab to create the perfect drug for me to use. I always planned on using it. I never wanted natural childbirth. Never. Ever.
Finally at 3:15 am my Dr. arrived and said it was time to push, this was after I insisted he had fallen out of me and thought his head was at my knees. I pushed twice and at 3:31 am Carter was born. A beautiful 6 lb 13 oz 19 3/4" long little boy.
And the pajama pants I had to go get while I was in labor, I never even put them on. I was wearing jeans the morning Carter was born. Yes they were maternith jeans, but still.
Be sure to check out Baby Week on Discovery Health.
Sunday through Friday, June 14-19th, at 8pm each night on Discovery Health. Some of the shows airing are
Thursday, June 4, 2009
I'm not saying it's the end of my world, but it does sound a little older in reality than it did in the big lead up to it. However, I am still excited about my birthday (I am a birthday nutcase). Morgan told me she would get me balloons, we'll see if it happens. Tonight we are going to cook a nice dinner (shrimp alfredo and garlic bread), and on Saturday Chris & Kelley are coming over for grilled pizza and drinks, then on Sunday we are going to a great Mexican food restraunt with my family. I wanted to have a huge party but the planning never happened and my budget isn't really big party material right now.
So here I go. Over 30 years I have done the following...
Made friends that will be a part of my life until one of us dies. My longest friendship is 27 years now and the second longest is 15 years now. I still talk to them regularly.
Snuck out of my parents house in high school (more than once, hee-hee) and gone to explore the caves at Red Rocks
Learned how to play pool
Crowd surfed at a concert
Pierced my nose
Pierced my tongue
Gotten (8) tattoos (and will get a few more. Of this I am sure)
Skipped school (with permission) to stalk David Justice
Skipped school without permission. I used to pay Matthew to wait for the school to call. He usually forgot and left. I always said I was late and my parents never believed me.
Learned about sex way before I should have. One of the older kids told us what they were learning in school when I was in first grade
Gone to too many funerals
Become a certified First Responder
Become a certified dog groomer
Learned to drink for reasons beyond getting drunk
Learned that Mad Dog 20/20 is never good
Learned how to cook
Fell in love and had my heart broken
Felt the loss of a pregnancy
Become best friends with my sister and brother
Realized my parents are cool to hang out with
Birthed two totally awesome children (once in front of 4 of my family members and once with out drugs, although not by choice) and become an awesome mother
Married a wonderful man that I enjoy spending time with and talking too, and I am an awesome wife as well
Quit many jobs
Learned that the noises that drive me crazy every day are the ones I miss when they are not going on
Figured out how to feed a family for 60 dollars a week when necessary
Had a party when my parents were out of town. And got caught.
Lied to my parents about where I was staying for the night
Gone on a mission involving the adult stores (maybe I will write that story one day)
Spied on many boys while playing the Mission Impossible theme song
Learned that I really hate camping
Learned to play tennis
Driven everybody I know crazy reminding them my birthday was coming up.
Happy Birthday To Me!!
Tuesday, June 2, 2009
Most of these say to add chicken to them, but on the side they have other ideas. So last night I made the Garlic and Herb one with Johnsonville Sweet Italian Sausage (if you have not tried this sausage run out right now and get it, it is the best). And I must say it was De. Lici. Ous. And, there was enough to feed all of us and have leftovers (which I ate for breakfast today). Another thing is that these really aren't very expensive, I checked at the store last night. They are under four dollars for a box. So with the price of the meat you can eat dinner for under ten dollars. That is pretty good.