A Christmas Letter From Kelly

This is an email I got from Kelly last year after she put up her Christmas Tree. I think it is hilarious, so I cleaned up the language (which was not as quickly done as one might think for a beautiful Christmas tale) and here it is.
Don't feel too bad for her. She got a new one at the end of the season last year for like 80% off. Thanks to me calling her and telling her to get to Target.

On a beautiful Christmas note, I put up my twice hand me down Christmas tree today.(This is where my sarcasm, and true feelings are revealed) Well, I attempted to raise the sun of a gun, and since the thing is older than I am, it started shedding fake green needles throughout my house, and then the actual branches began to literally fall off. Once the tree was finally up, I got out my favorite lights in the whole world and started putting them on the tree. Imagine my surprise when the last two strings would not light up. There was no twinkling, there was no beautiful soft glow coming from the top of the tree....it was dark. And because I was such a genius when I bought these "perfect" lights, of course I got just exactly enough lights to cover the tree; not even a extra strand for just in case. These are not your everyday, run of the mill twinkle lights; these are "Dew Drop Lights." They are supposed to give your tree a "magical" glow. These are the lights that I hid in a suitcase at Target waiting for the day after Christmas sale so I didn't have to mortgage the house to buy the expensive things. After 30 minutes of replacing the little dew drops one by one, they finally came to life!! It should have gone smoothly from there right???? WRONG!!! Imagine putting a new, gorgeous ornament on a branch, backing up to commend yourself on a perfect positioning of it, and then watching the damn branch break off, and your gorgeous new ornament shatter to pieces. I can describe this moment again for you, and just replace the color of the ornament since this lovely situation happened another 4 times. There was also a very close call with another ornament, but I figured out that when the branch starts to sag, it's probably a good thing to take the ornament off of it, and just rip the branch out!!! I finally started to realize something; this tree is revolting against Christmas, and is begging to be donated to Goodwill. I would take it to Goodwill right now, but since I wasted time to put lights on it and put numerous ornaments on it, I've decided that this will be the Christmas with the chest hair tree. What do you mean you say...well, you know how men get patches of hair on their chests, and there are always patches that have no hair as well, my tree is like that, only branches instead of hair. As you can tell, it was one hell of an experience, and I have decided that next year, I'm not having a Christmas tree. I hope your tree erecting goes smoother than mine did.
Merry Christmas From Kelly!!!

I hope you laugh as hard as I do every time I read this.

Our Weekend

What a crazy week. I am sure glad it is over. Matthew is in pain and still hasn't heard anything from anyone. I am not sure what is going to happen, and I am having a hard time thinking about how screwy the insurance companies are. It seems that they don't realize that behind that payment they get every month, there is a person. A real, breathing person. And that person pays them every month so that when they need help they will get it. Or will they??

The weekend was good for us. We had Roy's Christmas party last night. The guy he is doing work for is so nice. Him and his girlfriend had all of his guys (contractors) and their wives over to their amazingly beautiful house. And had so much food that his GF was sending people home with some. It was fun. Marly watched the kids for us. She brought stuff for her and Morgan to make cards. It was Morgan's first experience with glitter. And Marly doesn't do things small. She brought a huge jar of glitter. Morgan had a blast. I think my house has a new permanent sparkle. Marly swept the floor last night and I swept it about 5 times today before we had Roy's family over. Still sparkling.

And today Roy's family came over for our Christmas with them. I learned something. If you plan on making a Christmas style feast, go to the store at least the day before. I was planning on going yesterday but I cleaned up my house and had two grumpy tired kids so I decided I would get up extra early today and go. When I decided this I forgot the high today was supposed to be 15 (it got up to 18) with snow. So I was waiting to see what was happening with the snow, and I wanted to talk to Roy's aunt to make sure they were coming. I was at the store at about 10. They were coming at 1. But I pulled it off. I bought a spiral sliced ham (fully cooked) and I made sweet potatoes, a potato gratin, green bean casserole and had a veggie tray and chips with dip. I forgot dessert. And heavy paper plates. But everything turned out great and we had a real good time. When they left Roy and I watched The Dark Knight. What a movie. I am still not sure what to say about it. It was great, but I am still speechless.

The weather is supposed to be cold all week. We are going to have a heat wave Thursday or Friday and it should climb up to the 30's. WooHoo. I really wish I didn't have to go Christmas shopping. But I really want to at the same time.

I bought the best Christmas cards today. I was going to make some but can't locate my embossing gun. So I am going to sign and address those tomorrow and get them sent on Tuesday.